She saw most of it.
Though her body could not obey, her mind did not yield. She saw everything - How the man brought her to the inn, how the lady emptied her pockets of any tool or gold before bringing her into the warehouse, how Katachi had barged in halfway while she was being undressed halfway, and how they had fought. How he read the situation well, and used the woman's psychology against her, to his advantage, and forcing her into an unfavorable position.
At that point, one of the other slave girls carried her up and ran off with her, so Roberia had actually missed anything after that. Halfway through the escape, the girl carrying her stopped, and put Roberia down before heading back into the warehouse, for some reason. Perhaps there had been something important and urgent, like saving her own little sister. In any case, Roberia had been left on that spot, standing alone in the alley.
*Cozy's Notes : A good demonstration of the weakness of the Words of Power - Roberia was made to cooperate with Wang Gu, staying in the warehouse, and then made to cooperate with Wang Gu to go back into the warehouse. They canceled each other out, and Wang Gu didn't know that. The other slave girls didn't have her precursor of the WoP being on their bodies, which is why Roberia was freed while the other slave girls were forced to return. That's what happened, in case you're confused. I don't put notes in the Wattpad compile, but I figured they were important.*
*Cozy's Notes : A good demonstration of the weakness of the Words of Power - Roberia was made to cooperate with Wang Gu, staying in the warehouse, and then made to cooperate with Wang Gu to go back into the warehouse. They canceled each other out, and Wang Gu didn't know that. The other slave girls didn't have her precursor of the WoP being on their bodies, which is why Roberia was freed while the other slave girls were forced to return. That's what happened, in case you're confused. I don't put notes in the Wattpad compile, but I figured they were important.*
But she remembers. The skinny woman had carried her into the room, took the gold pouch they shared, and tossed it into a huge container of sorts. How could anyone possibly forget something like that? It filled to the brim with gold. She remembers the location of that container - In the office to the right upon entrance, shifting the bookcase to the right and opening the door with the braided pommel key in one of the drawers.
She didn't have much time. She needed to act quickly, while Katachi was fending them off, and take as much as she could. It was often wrong and dishonest to do so, but with how callous the couple had been, forcing young maidens like herself into such a lust-filled warehouse to service their customers, it was more than enough to piss her off. An appropriate vengeance such as repossession of their property is appropriate, just as how they claim the bodies of others as their own property. It ought to be suitable karmic justice, she thought.
With no time to waste, Roberia got to work. She took off in the opposite direction, and raced to the front of the warehouse, through the front door.
*** ***
It clinked noisily on her back. Roberia's face had an awkward grin, as she carried the huge sack on her back forward.
It wasn't all of it, but she had hauled a good deal of gold from the office - Enough gold to go by for a good while. She took care not to shake the burlap sack too much, as she had hidden the gold and coin in a couple of saucepans and kettles, to give it a disguised bulk and an excuse to walk about the town in broad daylight.
In the distance, she saw Katachi seated at where they had slept, with a strange, sullen look on his face. Her footsteps made Katachi turn his head, and he noticed that Roberia returned.
It wasn't all of it, but she had hauled a good deal of gold from the office - Enough gold to go by for a good while. She took care not to shake the burlap sack too much, as she had hidden the gold and coin in a couple of saucepans and kettles, to give it a disguised bulk and an excuse to walk about the town in broad daylight.
In the distance, she saw Katachi seated at where they had slept, with a strange, sullen look on his face. Her footsteps made Katachi turn his head, and he noticed that Roberia returned.
K : "... Roberia..."
R : "Katachi! Look, I hauled a good deal!"
Her enthusiastic face did little to Katachi's melancholic expression.
R : (What's wrong with him? Shouldn't he be happy that I brought gold back? Or, at least, happy that I got back safe and unharmed?) "What's wrong, Katachi? We have gold now! We can keep going without worrying about the issue of gold for a good while-"
K : "... I'm sorry..."
R : "?" (Sorry? Sorry for what?)
She could only ponder over what he vaguely meant. Perhaps he was referring to the fact that he had her worried by not being there soon enough? That was perfectly fine for her, Roberia thought. She had ended up unscathed after all that - A great blessing that calls for celebration.
R : "Were you sorry about letting me get caught? Don't be! Nobody could have guessed that! It's okay, Katachi. You're forgiven. Come on, let's enjoy ourselves and have a g-"
K : "Forgiven? FORGIVEN?!"
His sudden anger startled Roberia a bit. His face contorted into a confused and spiteful fury. It was a frightening one, but it wasn't threatening, at least, not to Roberia - If anything, it looked as if he was angry at himself, and nobody else.
K : "There's no way I am FORGIVEN! I MURDERED THAT FAT MAN AND SKINFLINT!!! I MURDERED THEM WITH THESE BARE HANDS!!! ME!!!... I... I could have just left them fixated in place, but... But..."
Katachi was clearly unsettled by the fact that they had died. His shoulders ached and his hands trembled ever so slightly as he stared at the tiny, red and white patches of flesh on his hands.
R : (He... He killed them?...)
K : "... But I killed them... I didn't mean to, but I did..."
He had been shaken by a strange, morbid fear - One Katachi himself couldn't quite explain, even if he wanted to. He wanted to tell Roberia that the Words of Power influenced him to do their bidding, and he didn't killed them by his own intent. He wanted to tell her, but something choked his throat. A strange, unseen force was restraining him, holding him back.
K : "... How many more lives must I take?..."
R : (He actually murdered...)
His voice croaked, and he felt his throat constrict just as it had before. That was when he noticed it - The constriction, his only safeguard back then that stopped the Words of Power from manipulating him, had been removed by his own hand. Even if he hadn't intended for the two to die, he had indirectly caused it by becoming a medium for the Words of Power to speak through, and taking away the only thing bordering their life from death.
K : "How...! HOW MANY MORE LIVES MUST I TAKE, BEFORE THIS IS ALL OVER?!... HOW many more, must I kill..."
His eyes teared profusely, and he inhaled hard to suck air into his lungs, blocked by the build-up of mucus in his nose. It was painful, but he shared his misery with someone else, and with that he felt slightly relieved - Enough to focus and see Roberia's shocked expression. He had been too harsh on her, and he spoiled the entire peppy mood she had before they started this conversation.
K : "! ... Roberia, I... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you."
She snapped back into her consciousness with that sentence, and tried her best to support and comfort him, as a wife ought to.
R : "I, I'm okay with it. I understand. Killing is indeed bad and wrong on your part. Make sure you don't do something like that again."
K : (How... How innocent...)
Katachi looked up at Roberia, and saw a pure, concerned look in her eyes. She was trying her best to provide the support that Katachi needs, but her eyes lacked the cloudy look that would have reassured him - The sort of darkness that would tell him that she's been through abuse as well, that she's understood the pain vivid enough to tell him that he can actually make it. It was as if she had been raised and pampered well, without actually committing a grave mistake or sinning before in her whole life. When she looked at him like that, it was as if she were a part of a noble household of sorts, an odd contrast to her background as a farm hand.
*Cozy's Notes : Warrior by body, princess by heart. Lol what. Also, yes - In two of the routes, Katachi doesn't know of Roberia's nobility until very late into the story, and in one of the routes, Roberia slips her mouth and tells him herself- OK, sorry. That's too big of a hint. Yeah, in Endus Reignum, she slips her mouth, in Messiah and Herald, Katachi discovers it himself the hard way.*
That look stabbed Katachi hard. He had dragged Roberia around him like an anklet, against her will, when she could be out adventuring and training herself to become strong, strong enough to repel the bandits who were harassing her family.
*Cozy's Notes : Warrior by body, princess by heart. Lol what. Also, yes - In two of the routes, Katachi doesn't know of Roberia's nobility until very late into the story, and in one of the routes, Roberia slips her mouth and tells him herself- OK, sorry. That's too big of a hint. Yeah, in Endus Reignum, she slips her mouth, in Messiah and Herald, Katachi discovers it himself the hard way.*
That look stabbed Katachi hard. He had dragged Roberia around him like an anklet, against her will, when she could be out adventuring and training herself to become strong, strong enough to repel the bandits who were harassing her family.
K : "... Roberia, can I... Can I take some time to myself? I... I need to think some things over."
R : (He wants some time for himself? Maybe I should help him...)
But something in Katachi's gaze told her otherwise.
R : (... But, then again, maybe I shouldn't. This is his pride at stake, and he ought to settle this himself.) "Sure. Take as long as you need, Katachi. I'm waiting."
But something in Katachi's gaze told her otherwise.
R : (... But, then again, maybe I shouldn't. This is his pride at stake, and he ought to settle this himself.) "Sure. Take as long as you need, Katachi. I'm waiting."
The unwavering gaze ought to have been a pillar of support for him, but Katachi didn't really feel consoled by that act. Still, the goodwill was very much appreciated. Katachi left his bag and the accursed 1000-paged storage book on the ground neatly, and took off towards the woods to the east.
R : (He must have had it rough, though. Killing a person is considered an act of cowardice and a great shame for us believers of Ilpoh, but I guess it means something much more significant for Segus followers.)
Roberia could only stare as his small figure disappeared around the corner.
R : (... I've honestly never seen a person cry this hard for his enemy before.)
*Cozy's Notes : Another point to reinforce how deep a believer of Segus Katachi is, that he even adopts the mindset. He- Oh- I- Uh- Ah forget it. Enough of my silly comments.*
Roberia could only stare as his small figure disappeared around the corner.
R : (... I've honestly never seen a person cry this hard for his enemy before.)
*Cozy's Notes : Another point to reinforce how deep a believer of Segus Katachi is, that he even adopts the mindset. He- Oh- I- Uh- Ah forget it. Enough of my silly comments.*
*** ***
Was this dream of his wrong, to begin with? Was it wrong for Katachi to want to become someone whom was respectable, someone whom could become the hero in a story?
Should Katachi not have played with something he shouldn't have? He pondered and pondered, and slanted his eyebrows. He had known that the Words of Power were dangerous, and he had known that they were able to influence and manipulate their users before - He had experienced this once, when he was younger. He clearly understood the dangers it brought, the potential for harm it had caused - The Magus Academy even prohibited it strictly. That was why he set forth on this journey, to collect them all, and to destroy them all.
*Cozy's Notes : If this isn't big enough of a spoiler, yes, he did kill another with his 定 when he was younger. There. The one thing in his childhood that made everyone in his village hate him. SPOILUHS-
I've honestly had enough of people asking me what, and what, and what, over and over again. So there. But the tale will only be told in Endus Reignum. In Messiah and Herald, Katachi hasn't opened himself up enough to say it out.*
But, for once, just for once, he yearned it. He wanted to see the faces of those whom have belittled him change into stupefaction, and he wanted to feel the sense of achievement, accomplishment, that he had become someone they could no longer look down upon - A righteous and proud hero, without anyone mocking or scorning him. He wanted to be the one whom was loved, not the one whom everyone loved to hate.
... To think, that two more lives were lost, just like that.
Katachi stared at his right palm, the hand that held the thousand-paged Words of Power storage book. It wasn't there right now, but he felt it - The weight of the thousand pages, the weight the words carried, the weight of the two killed, the burden of the responsibility accompanied with the power he sought, it all tugged and encumbered him.
To have killed another and defied one of Segus's precious and strictest rules was a direct defiance to his covenant altogether.
The price paid for that act of 'heroism' had been too great.
Perhaps it wasn't such a good idea after all. Perhaps... He ought to have settled down in Mother Rinnesfeld's church quietly. To watch the world around him crumble to ruin, knowing that something could have been done but not doing it... It was cruel, but maybe it had been a better fate for him.
He wouldn't have to go through all of this.
He wouldn't have to fight others, but simply accept their conditions humbly and let things stay they were - A hard life, but a happy life.
He wouldn't have to plan and strategize elaborate plans to take down his opponents.
He wouldn't have to touch these disgusting and vile Words of Power.
He wouldn't have to marry Roberia and hamper her.
*** ***
Roberia didn't know when she had stumbled upon this farm, but that didn't matter. There was something far more important than simply walking around aimlessly and waiting for Katachi to come back.
At one of its sheds, with a wooden plaque above a heap of junk, were some Anikan words she couldn't understand. But Roberia could roughly make out that the pile was supposed to be junk that should be discarded.
The junk had many sticks prodding out from a broken wooden drum, there was a metallic bucket with a hole at the bottom, there was something similar to broken glass about the ground, and broken farming tools lay about the ground, in disarray. From the looks of it, the place was used as a garbage collection point.
Her eyes sparkled at the sight of the scrap.
Wood was known to be a nefarious tool, often used for objects that wore and tore easily. Since the legend where Yvolki and Kafki searched for the Dream Poison, the trees have 'changed', according to their ancestors. Wood is a precious materiel, no matter how broken and worn out it seemed - It didn't take a magus to appreciate how important it is. Roberia has known of many warriors whom made their swords out of both wood and steel, using the wooden part primarily for attacking and the steel part for the finishing blow.
It was a different matter if they knew weaponsmithing, however - A weaponsmith could change how sharp, how durable they wanted their weapons to be. Smithing is a precious skill, and Rugnud's Pride, Pybuit once emphasized how important it was to her.
Roberia picked up a couple of strangely-shaped sticks used for scythes, and the broken bucket with her. She looked around the place and found a small building which smelled like metal - A forge, no less, and this close to her. The scent of fresh metal and coal, the cackling of the flames, and the numerous tools lined up along the racks - They had all been a familiar sight to her. Though smaller and inferior to the Radder Forge that Pybuit and Doresae built, it was still a forge, nonetheless, and the size didn't matter.
She immediately jogged inside to meet a grotty old man with a white beard and disheveled hair. His beard was white, but his hair black - Perplexing, but Roberia didn't mind. He had huge, bulging muscles, showing his lineage and position as the blacksmith. He was wearing only his pants, and he held a carving knife with some cloth in his hands, carefully smoothing out a stick to remove splinters.
R : "Excuse me, mister!"
"? 哈? 找我有何事?"
He spoke in a language she didn't recognize, but Roberia didn't mind neither. She walked towards a rack and stretched her hand out toward a hammer.
R : "May I borrow this?"
She withdrew her hand into her chest, from its outstretched position. Though they do not speak each others' tongues, they could understand each other from their body language.
"你要借我的锤? 拿那干啥?"
The blacksmith had a confused look on his face, then he looked at what Roberia was holding - A couple of scythe handles and a broken bucket. He wasn't quite sure yet, but he looked like he was beginning to get the rough idea. Roberia took the hammer, and placed the bucket onto the ground, and fished out a broken scythe. She adjusted the metal part towards the anvil as she walked towards it, and acted out a hammering action.
"! 你要再锻造那镰刀?... 随你随你, 尽管用吧."
The blacksmith probably noticed that Roberia's method of placing the scythe blade on the anvil was an appropriate method for striking out a curved blade, and assumed that Roberia knew how to reforge the weapon. With that, he simply nodded, and flicked his fingers outward with his left hand, as a gesture for her to go ahead.
She gave a huge grin, and got to work immediately.
*** ***
It had been a long time.
He walked and walked, and before he knew it, Katachi found an old, balding man on a rock.
K : (An old man...)
The old man was staring out into the distance, somewhere - Katachi couldn't tell, because it seemed as if he was simply blanking out against the forest. His hair was nearly gone, spare for a few clouds about the base, and he dressed in a strange, plain tunic.
As Katachi walked over in curiosity, something caught his eye.
Before the old man, lying on the rock, a small wooden tablet with the words 禅定 carved onto it.
K : "!!!" (That... That's 定! That's the same as the 定 I have!)
He walked to his front, and stared at the old man. His desire to ask burning, Katachi opened his mouth to speak, but froze.
The old man's eyes were shut, and he had a calm, peaceful demeanor about him. It seemed so serene that Katachi couldn't help but feel calmed by the sight of it alone. Where turmoil had once stormed and rumbled in his mind, it was now engulfed and soothed by an odd, subtle air of gentle, delicate mist. Katachi relaxed himself, and sat before the man in the exact same position, facing him.
"? 是哪位呀?"
The old man seemed to have sensed Katachi, and opened his eyes.
K : "! Ah, uhm... Good, good afternoon, uhm..."
Katachi nervously tried to communicate with the old man, but it struck him - How are they supposed to communicate? How could he tell the old man that he wanted to know what the words on the tablet? He didn't know how, and he didn't even know where to start from. Katachi knew there was no way for him to learn and understand Anikan immediately, and it would take a long time before it was feasible in common speech like theirs.
So Katachi did the only thing he knew how - He reached for a piece of charcoal in his pocket, and straightened his shirt. It was not glamorous in the least, but he could get off with drawing on a shirt that was worn out and rugged to begin with.
Then... A small piece of papyrus fell from his pocket.
It was the papyrus given by the border guard, from a while back.
"!... I take it that you are not from Anik?"
K : "!!!" (He... He can speak Findeli...)
Katachi nodded his head profusely.
"I see. Well, it must be hard on you, to walk all the way here just to show me that."
He pointed at the small piece of papyrus, and gently smiled at Katachi.
K : "! So, mister... Are you the man we are supposed to find?..."
"Well, that is my name there, isn't it? It says 沈光禅师, does it not?"
K : "!" (Ahh! So that's how you pronounce those words... Chen-gwung chensher...?)
Katachi wasn't sure what the papyrus said - He wasn't even sure how it was supposed to be read. From his own Word of Power, he can make out that each character could be pronounced in a certain way, and he's only faced characters which are one syllable long. He didn't know how long each word needs to be read, he didn't know whether the characters were read bottom up or top down, there were so many things strange and alien to him; Yet he didn't mind.
K : "... Yes..."
"So, what have you sought me for, child?"
K : "... Uh... May I ask a question?..."
The old man nodded calmly, and smiled at him.
"... Yes. Only one."
K : "!" (Only one question?... This is tough. I have to make this count.)
Katachi wanted to ask about the words on the tablet. But at the same time, he wanted to ask about the man's calmness. He also wanted to ask about Anikan, and how he can speak it properly and the like, and he wanted to ask a person such as himself if continuing his journey like so, chaining and dragging Roberia about against her will, killing others, continuing in this world was a good idea. He had so many questions to ask, that he could not decide.
K : "Uugh..."
He fretted. He panicked. He couldn't make a decision on which was the best choice - It ached and pained him, and he knew that the moment he spoke, his question will be answered. But which question to ask? Should he be selfish and choose the meaning of the words? Should he be more objective, and ask the man how he remains so very calm, even with such a cruel world that turns people like himself into murderers? Should he be far-sighted, and consider the problems they already have at hand, with being unable to speak in this foreign tongue?
He couldn't choose. If only there were some way to decide on one already.
"You seem to be troubled by this," the old man raised the tablet off the ground. "Would you like to know what the words here mean?"
His indecisiveness was leading him nowhere, so Katachi simply nodded his head. It was better than being unable to make a choice and overthinking things, he thought. If fate presents this to him, then so it shall be.
"This here is read as 禅chan2 定ding4. It means to meditate. That is all."
With that, the old man turned around, and began to leave.
K : "... 禅定?..." (What... To meditate? What does it do?)
Katachi was confused. He has never heard of the word 'meditate' before, let alone know what it meant. He pondered over it carefully, with everything he knew.
K : (... Maybe, maybe it's a phrase that is a good quality? As in, something for him to strive towards. Maybe it's good?...)
Katachi looked around for a target, and saw a little brown bird, silently observing the woods for its prey.
K : (I wonder if that's a good target- NO, NO, WAIT, what if... What if the word was something bad and evil, that the old man put before him, to remind himself never to fall victim to it?! I've read stories in Ohde where the warrior places a sword before him and trains his heart and body to be pure and unclouded, such that his will would not be corroded by the blade. What if this was something similar to that story?! Something like death, or destruction?!...)
His heart panged. A word and term alone was causing him so much grief. He couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad thing that he's gotten this Word of Power. He's not even certain if he wants to use it, with how little he knows of the power. For all he knows, it could make hearts stop or bodies burn.
K : (... I'm disgusting... To think, that I actually contemplated on using this against a helpless, innocent bird... What have I become?...)
He stared at his palm again, imagining the 定 above his palm.
K : (... If anything, whatever it is, I should become its target. Even if I die to this... Even if it means betraying Roberia's promise and Mother Rin's wishes...)
He withdrew his dagger from his pocket, and placed it onto his chest, with both hands holding the grip tight. He lay on the floor peacefully, and silently thought.
K : (... I'm sorry, Roberia. But, with this, you can be free and go back to training, to your parents... I'm sorry, Mother Rin... Life is precious, but I... I just can't take this...)
K : (... 禅定. Meditate - Self.)
*** ***
It had been a long time.
He walked and walked, and before he knew it, Katachi found an old, balding man on a rock.
K : (An old man...)
The old man was staring out into the distance, somewhere - Katachi couldn't tell, because it seemed as if he was simply blanking out against the forest. His hair was nearly gone, spare for a few clouds about the base, and he dressed in a strange, plain tunic.
As Katachi walked over in curiosity, something caught his eye.
Before the old man, lying on the rock, a small wooden tablet with the words 禅定 carved onto it.
K : "!!!" (That... That's 定! That's the same as the 定 I have!)
He walked to his front, and stared at the old man. His desire to ask burning, Katachi opened his mouth to speak, but froze.
The old man's eyes were shut, and he had a calm, peaceful demeanor about him. It seemed so serene that Katachi couldn't help but feel calmed by the sight of it alone. Where turmoil had once stormed and rumbled in his mind, it was now engulfed and soothed by an odd, subtle air of gentle, delicate mist. Katachi relaxed himself, and sat before the man in the exact same position, facing him.
"? 是哪位呀?"
The old man seemed to have sensed Katachi, and opened his eyes.
K : "! Ah, uhm... Good, good afternoon, uhm..."
Katachi nervously tried to communicate with the old man, but it struck him - How are they supposed to communicate? How could he tell the old man that he wanted to know what the words on the tablet? He didn't know how, and he didn't even know where to start from. Katachi knew there was no way for him to learn and understand Anikan immediately, and it would take a long time before it was feasible in common speech like theirs.
So Katachi did the only thing he knew how - He reached for a piece of charcoal in his pocket, and straightened his shirt. It was not glamorous in the least, but he could get off with drawing on a shirt that was worn out and rugged to begin with.
Then... A small piece of papyrus fell from his pocket.
It was the papyrus given by the border guard, from a while back.
"!... I take it that you are not from Anik?"
K : "!!!" (He... He can speak Findeli...)
Katachi nodded his head profusely.
"I see. Well, it must be hard on you, to walk all the way here just to show me that."
He pointed at the small piece of papyrus, and gently smiled at Katachi.
K : "! So, mister... Are you the man we are supposed to find?..."
"Well, that is my name there, isn't it? It says 沈光禅师, does it not?"
K : "!" (Ahh! So that's how you pronounce those words... Chen-gwung chensher...?)
Katachi wasn't sure what the papyrus said - He wasn't even sure how it was supposed to be read. From his own Word of Power, he can make out that each character could be pronounced in a certain way, and he's only faced characters which are one syllable long. He didn't know how long each word needs to be read, he didn't know whether the characters were read bottom up or top down, there were so many things strange and alien to him; Yet he didn't mind.
K : "... Yes..."
"So, what have you sought me for, child?"
K : "... Uh... May I ask a question?..."
The old man nodded calmly, and smiled at him.
"... Yes. Only one."
K : "!" (Only one question?... This is tough. I have to make this count.)
Katachi wanted to ask about the words on the tablet. But at the same time, he wanted to ask about the man's calmness. He also wanted to ask about Anikan, and how he can speak it properly and the like, and he wanted to ask a person such as himself if continuing his journey like so, chaining and dragging Roberia about against her will, killing others, continuing in this world was a good idea. He had so many questions to ask, that he could not decide.
K : "Uugh..."
He fretted. He panicked. He couldn't make a decision on which was the best choice - It ached and pained him, and he knew that the moment he spoke, his question will be answered. But which question to ask? Should he be selfish and choose the meaning of the words? Should he be more objective, and ask the man how he remains so very calm, even with such a cruel world that turns people like himself into murderers? Should he be far-sighted, and consider the problems they already have at hand, with being unable to speak in this foreign tongue?
He couldn't choose. If only there were some way to decide on one already.
"You seem to be troubled by this," the old man raised the tablet off the ground. "Would you like to know what the words here mean?"
His indecisiveness was leading him nowhere, so Katachi simply nodded his head. It was better than being unable to make a choice and overthinking things, he thought. If fate presents this to him, then so it shall be.
"This here is read as 禅chan2 定ding4. It means to meditate. That is all."
With that, the old man turned around, and began to leave.
K : "... 禅定?..." (What... To meditate? What does it do?)
Katachi was confused. He has never heard of the word 'meditate' before, let alone know what it meant. He pondered over it carefully, with everything he knew.
K : (... Maybe, maybe it's a phrase that is a good quality? As in, something for him to strive towards. Maybe it's good?...)
Katachi looked around for a target, and saw a little brown bird, silently observing the woods for its prey.
K : (I wonder if that's a good target- NO, NO, WAIT, what if... What if the word was something bad and evil, that the old man put before him, to remind himself never to fall victim to it?! I've read stories in Ohde where the warrior places a sword before him and trains his heart and body to be pure and unclouded, such that his will would not be corroded by the blade. What if this was something similar to that story?! Something like death, or destruction?!...)
His heart panged. A word and term alone was causing him so much grief. He couldn't decide whether it was a good or bad thing that he's gotten this Word of Power. He's not even certain if he wants to use it, with how little he knows of the power. For all he knows, it could make hearts stop or bodies burn.
K : (... I'm disgusting... To think, that I actually contemplated on using this against a helpless, innocent bird... What have I become?...)
He stared at his palm again, imagining the 定 above his palm.
K : (... If anything, whatever it is, I should become its target. Even if I die to this... Even if it means betraying Roberia's promise and Mother Rin's wishes...)
He withdrew his dagger from his pocket, and placed it onto his chest, with both hands holding the grip tight. He lay on the floor peacefully, and silently thought.
K : (... I'm sorry, Roberia. But, with this, you can be free and go back to training, to your parents... I'm sorry, Mother Rin... Life is precious, but I... I just can't take this...)
K : (... 禅定. Meditate - Self.)
*** ***
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