Cozy :
Ahh, the heartbreak. I missed January! Nooooooooooooooooooooo~
I've been trying to type this story for a while now, y'know. But I can't get my act together - Enlistment life is actually pretty tough, and I'm usually exhausted when I get home.
The Remedial Training I have had to do at the end of Fridays, when other recruits could normally book out, isn't helping my cause neither. I reach home exhausted, out of breath and energy to focus and sit down on the chair and type the story. And the next morning during the Saturday, my whole body aches so much that the rest to help my muscles recover is very much welcome.
Well, it's not all that bad.
First of all, I am still working on Messiah 28. I am about... 20% done with it thus far. That is minimal, I know, but I've been trying a new method of writing my chapters recently. I should be able to finish the chapter a lot faster than usual
Usually, I type like smooth water and I just go at it like I'm crazy before I start editing and proofreading intensively, but now that I have time constraints, I have to switch up my tactics - I paint out the skeleton first. What happens in that chapter, what parts need to be exemplified, explained, which characters are introduced, I construct the skeleton first so I don't forget. After that, I follow the skeleton as a guideline.
So, although I say it's 20% complete, there's also an additional 35% on what happens here and there, in point form, that I simply need to re-type and form into an actual narrative form. So relax - Completion is nearing.
I'm just kinda sad I don't get to upload a chapter this month (T ~ T ) Oh the humanity. If I could, I would work a clerk job, or an 8am - 5pm job at the army so I can come home and write every night. If I could forget about the military and go at this forever, without eating or sleeping or worrying about thirst or toilet breaks... I'd like that. I'd really like that.
Secondly, I lost a net weight of 15.2kg, last recorded on 26th January, Monday. Two months - From November 27th to January 26th, I have slimmed from 89kg to a nice 73.8kg. And that's just the net weight loss, it's not including the weight I sometimes gained when I booked back in and lost again, which would total it up to... About 19+kg.
19kg in two weeks. I think that's remarkable. As much as I dislike the notion of war and the like, I have to say, they weren't kidding when they said that the Singapore army is the best slimming center you can get in the world. I mean, having to scream and shout at the commanders in response to their prompts is one thing (Still depressed over losing my Hanazawa Kana voice) but I've actually lost a good bit of mass. I can wear old shirts I've once outgrown and I've have had to buy new belts that fit my current waistline.
Lastly, I'm still alive and well. Hoo-rah, isn't it? The story will continue, and I won't have to upset / disappoint the people looking forward to this series. I mean, I've seen a couple of great athors who kicked the bucket before their works could become complete, and that is tragic in itself, but it's in tragedy that we see the greatest in human life, isn't it?
*** ***
Though, I think I've developed a new problem since enlistment. I think it should be alright, more or less. I can only pray it's not too bad, but that will have to be decided by the medical officer in charge.
I keep falling sick and getting fevers during my training. And, I think that in the span of these 2 months, I have sneezed as much as I have my entire life. If I sneezed for 470 times from 1994 to mid-November 2014, I think I've sneezed for about the same frequency in these two months. Maybe even more - I don't even fall sick that often before my enlistment. I could count the number of times I was sick before I enlisted with my fingers alone - That's how healthy I've lived, as a vegetarian who eats a good deal of Vitamin C every day.
Let me explain a little about myself - I am a photosensitive person. As such, whenever I walk out into the sun, my nose itches and I sneeze. That's why I don't go out often, and I often carry an umbrella or cap when I head out. I've been like this my entire life. Also, I don't really like going out = Obesity, apparently, so I've had to go through the physical training phase of my BMT first to slim down to a nice, healthy weight.
You can imagine what happens - Just going out to exercise on the hard court, I would have sneezed 5 times in 3 minutes already. Combine that with the amount of times I've had to sneeze when the bunk was dusty, whenever I walked out into the company line to line up for marching, how I've sneezed while marching to the cookhouse (and back), when my body falls ill and I sneeze uncontrollably throughout the whole day and night cycles...
I've had to sneeze so much in these two months that I think I may have damaged my right ear drum.
I'm being serious here. There's a faint, but persistent ringing sound at the back of my right ear now. It happened last night, 30th January, when I was holding my sneezes in the middle of the night. All of a sudden, I felt a slight, acute pain in my right ear, and then there's this ringing.
Ruptured eardrums heal, apparently, but the risk of infection is still possible. I'm fearful of becoming deaf in my right ear now. I'm a man of the fine arts, of music and story-writing, and to give up on one of my ears is too tragic. I can already imagine the creepy, void silence in my right ear as I construct a new tune, and that is dreadful enough to have me shiver now.
Please, let my eardrum heal. Please don't let me become completely deaf in one ear. Even though that could be a nice and promising thing to experience and fuel my desire to write a new story about a guy with that kind of problem, please, let me retain this sense of hearing until I'm done with these stories I'm currently working on.
Well, aside from that, there's not much else for me to share. These few months have been uneventful, and I haven't really had much time to think about myself, or about life. Most of the time, I've just been worrying about the commands by my superiors and stuff, y'know, how I have to prepare my field pack items, how I have to rush this, complete the e-learning in time, how I have to do so much in so little time that it's practically impossible.
... It's worries like that which make me want to kill myself, though. Knowing that the future would be filled with such problems, worrying about the education of children, about the colleagues, about that ever-growing bill and ever-shrinking paycheck, about me finding a mate to settle down with, it's these worries that pin me against the wall and make me want to write and escape from those responsibilities.
... Sometimes, I wish I had a tree growing on the top of my head, so that I may photosynthesize and not worry about food or sleep or anything else but writing for that matter.
I just want to sit down, and give the stories, these children, a chance to exist. A chance to be read, admired and loved by children / adults everywhere. I'm not sure about WoP Quest being a kids' story, but I can give this guarantee - Alas, My Dear Annabelle is completely kid-friendly. (Even though it's kind-of matured and oriented towards adults, kids can still read it if they like to. After all, the narration at the start of the book is through the eyes of a kid herself.)
And when that's complete, when they are done, I'll rest my pen on the table, my head on a pillow, and my eyes on sleep mode forever.
For that is the tale of the man who tried to embody the mirror, the man who tried to become the pillow, the man who sought to serve his core value of servitude to the last bit - To give his stories the chance to exist, to be read, and to be loved.
That, is the man and existence known as Cozy, who fought against life never for himself, but for the future of the stories his incapable hands were forced to write.
... Well. That pretty much sums up who I am, what I want and the like.
Though, you might see me on Youtube eventually. I may have plans to do audio books of my own stories, and provide gameplay commentary, if I ever get the chance.
Who knows? Even I don't know. Content production has always been my passion, be it music, stories, and maybe even videos in the near future.
The future is full of uncertainties. Well, for me, anyway.
I can only weep for Katachi and Roberia, whom do not have the same broad future I do.
... Aww. Thinking about them and the Endus Reignum ending makes me sad already.
Alright, I'll call it a day here. Have a good rest, you and your eyeballs could use the time to recover.
... Which reminds me, I haven't posted that here, have I? Maybe I'll do it now. Wa-hey, January's not as blank as I thought.
Good night.
Pillow On,
Cozy
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