I'm crying

Cozy :

... I thought of how Endus Reignum was going to progress.

I thought of how it was going to end, how the characters are going to build up and become the people they are.

But no matter how much I think, no matter how much effort I put into the story, there is one indisputable, unchanging fact.

Katachi and Roberia can never be real.

And yet, why do I feel the true essence of humanity, just by looking at them?

... I'm sad. I really am. Maybe... Even depressed.

When I think of how they warm up to each other, I just... I can't stop crying.

It's sad, it's beautiful, and it reflects upon a truth I will come to face throughout my life.

And when I think about that, when I put my pencil against the paper and draw out, sketch out their lives...

... I almost stop breathing.

It hurts.

My dissatisfaction with life cannot be filled with a story.

I know that, and yet I write, despite every stroke, despite every press on the keyboard making my heart clench.

Despite every stroke, making my eyes squint at its brilliance.

Despite every key making the void within me larger.

Despite knowing that the story will never be read, knowing that it will never be loved by anyone but me.

...

... And yet, I must.

... I'll keep writing. I'll write until it takes my life, or until I finish it. Whichever comes first.